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Green Rare Ember.png This page contains a direct transcript of Transcript: Anniversary 2022.
Much of the content below is copied verbatim from Castle Cats and is therefore copyrighted by PocApp.

This page, Transcript: Anniversary 2022, contains heavy spoilers for the Event Quest Storyline. Proceed at your own risk.


Quest 1: Mudslinger 3000[]

Quest Start[]

Curio We did it, we created the ultimate tool of war!
Conan Here we go... What's up?
Curio The mudslinger 3000! Now with extra capacity!
Bob, do the thing.
Bob O-oh, right. Behold!
Conan Wow, yeah! That's incredible...
So, Catniss, did you find anything?
Catniss Actually, it's the strangest thing...
Curio ...
Ash ... Give me the mudslinger. Ready, aim... FIRE!
Catniss Hey, you ruined an important report!
Ash Tremble before its might, for its power is boundless!
Catniss Of course *you're* involved. Knock it off.
Some of us have important business to attend to.
Ash So what? You're always busy!
Conan Life isn't a game!
Ash Yeah, well, it oughta be! You've all grown boooring!
Conan ... Have I really become dull?
Catniss No, no! You've only become proper.
Honestly, I'm proud of you for it.
Conan (Oh, boy... If Catniss thinks I'm proper, what do the others think?)

Quest End[]

Ash Ugh!
Purrcis Well, that's a storm cloud...
What happened?
Bob Ash yelled at Conan.
Purrcis May I ask why...?
Ash I dunno, I'm just tired of them neglecting us for "important business".
Purrcis Well, they're probably telling the truth.
Ash Yeah, I know... It's still lame.
Curio ... I miss my old bro. We barely hang out anymore.
Bob Curio...
Ash This calls for revenge...
Gather around, I've got a plan that's sure to get their attention...

Quest 2: Kitten Competition[]

Quest Start[]

Ash Attention, everyone! We have an announcement!
Conan What now...?
Rich Spit it out quick, I've got heroic deeds waiting to be done.
Ash In order to celebrate our upcoming founding day, we've decided to host a little competition.
Francis Sorry guys, but we have more important things to be doing.
Ash Like lazing around all day? I doubt it.
Francis Hey!
Bob We also have a big prize for the winners!
Minty Heart It's been a while since we all did something together!
Conan ... You're not wrong.
Catniss Perhaps we could use the break?
Conan ...
What do we have to do?
Ash First, we'll split you all into duos!
Conan Alright.
Catniss, do you want to–
Edward Catniss, would you like to–
Ash Oh, and we'll be choosing the teams!
Conan What?
Edward ...

Quest End[]

Ash So the pairings are...
Bob *Drumroll*
Ash Francis and Pipsqueak!
Francis Wha–?!
Ash Rich and Benedict!
Rich I'm with some sort of grandpa?!
Ash Purrcilla and Conan!
Purrcilla Ugh...
Ash Edward and Kyle!
Kyle Hah, you all are doomed!
Edward ...
Ash Kai and Molotov!
Molotov Heh, this is gonna be a blast!
Ash And lastly Catniss and Minty!
Minty Heart Oh wow, how exciting!
Catniss Y-yeah...!
Curio The prize is hidden somewhere in the forest!
The first duo to find it gets to claim it.
Ash You all can start... NOW!

Quest 3: Detectives & Mud[]

Quest Start[]

Rich Ugh, this is so stupid.
Let's just get this over with.
Do your thing, old man.
Benedict My... "thing"?
Rich Investigate. Find stuff!
Benedict Hmph. That attitude's not going to get you anywhere, boy.
After all, I'm simply a fragile old man.
Rich You think you're real clever, don't you?
Fine. I'll do it myself.
...
(Alright, help me out here...)
(Right, that's a good start.)
There. Those are some fresh tracks.
Benedict ...
Rich Well?!
Benedict Lead the way, boy.
Rich Watch so you don't break something, old man...

Quest End[]

Pipsqueak Ew!
Did you hear that... squelch?!
This place is most vile!
Francis It's just some mud, get over it.
Pipsqueak Simply because you have no standards, it does not mean I should have to lower mine!
Francis Excuse you?
Pipsquak Oh, it is hardly a secret, Francis.
You are disheveled more often than not!
Francis I'm an adventurer, a hero!
Of course I'm bound to have some grime here and there.
Pipsqueak If by here and there you mean absolutely everywhere, then sure.
Anyway, I am not taking another step in this dreadful place.
Francis You can stand here all you like, I'm going to get that prize.
Pipsqueak Are you that forgetful?
Francis Huh?
Pipsqueak To claim the prize, both parts of the duo must be present.
So I am afraid you will have to carry me.
Francis No way!
Pipsqueak Then you can kiss that silly little prize of yours goodbye.
Francis ... Fine! Here, this will make you levitate.
Because I'm *not* carrying you.
Pipsqueak Pah! I refuse to be meddled with your...
Hocus pocusing!
You are carrying me in those scrawny arms of yours, whether you like it or not!
Francis Oh, come on!
... If you scratch me, I swear.

Quest 4: Contrasts[]

Quest Start[]

Kai Should we begin by venturing out into the forest, friend?
Molotov Sure thing, boss!
Kai (Boss...?)
I'm thinking I'll get a head start by changing form and scouting the area.
Now, that might be considered cheating, but...
To be fair, they didn't state any such rules, hehe...
Molotov Sounds great, boss!
Kai ... I'm ashamed to say it my dear friend, but I believed you to be more...
Erratic, in lack of a better term.
Molotov Well, yeah, sure.
But even I know when I'm standing with a genius.
You've got your head screwed on real straight.
I'd be a fool not to follow your lead! Or so Pip would tell me, heh.
Kai I-I see...
Well then, friend. Let us go.

Quest End[]

Edward I suggest we let their own tracks lead us to victory.
They can't have hidden the treasure that long ago.
There's bound to be traces left behind.
Kyle Laaame!
You gotta think bigger than that, Eddy boy!
Edward Just Edward is fine...
Kyle We could start by just going into the forest and see where it takes us.
I say we follow the others...
...and using our superior wits, we get the jump on them and BAM!
The prize is ours.
Edward That's not very sportsmanlike...
Kyle Perhaps.
But why do work that's already been done for us?
Besides, we're definitely the ace out of these chumps.
Edward I wouldn't count them out quite so quick...
Kyle It'll be fine, trust me.

Quest 5: Yes & No[]

Quest Start[]

Purrcilla So, got any ideas?
Conan Oh, uhm... Not really.
I sort of figured you'd have one.
Purrcilla ... Why?
Conan I don't know, you're smart and stuff.
Purrcilla Uhuh...
So, do we just go into the forest and hope it works out?
... Or do we make a potion to track their movement?
You must have some of Curio's fur, no?
Conan Both sounds like great ideas to me, I'm down either way!
Purrcilla ... UGH!
Conan Huh?
Purrcilla Stop agreeing wholeheartedly with everything I'm saying!
I'm asking you for *your* opinion!
Conan And I'm saying I value yours!
Purrcilla What's your problem?!
Conan Nothing!
Purrcilla UUUGH!
Just follow me, then!

Quest End[]

Minty Heart Aww, I wish this was more of a group activity...
Catniss At least we've got each other.
Minty Heart That's true.
How come we never spend that much time together?
Catniss I don't know really, you tell me!
Minty Heart Well, I'm happy to have a chance to get to know you better.
Catniss Aww, me too!
Now let's crush those who dares to cross our path!
Victory shall be ours!
Minty Heart U-uhm...

Quest 6: Minefield![]

Quest Start[]

Pipsqueak Watch out, you are nearly dragging my clothes in the mud!
Francis So... heavy...
Ash *Ka-BOOM!*
Francis Woah!
Pipsqueak ...!
*GAAAAASP*
Y-y-you...
YOU DROPPED ME!
Francis We nearly stepped on some sort of trap, how about a thanks?!
Pipsqueak Everything is absolutely ruined!
Ash Hahaha! Didn't I mention there's trials?
Here's your first obstacle – the perilous minefield of perils!
Of course, they're not actual mines.
But they still pack a punch!
Good luck~!
Francis You've got to be kidding me...

Quest End[]

Pipsqueak I cannot go on like this...
I am at my wits end with this young lady!
I have told her time and time again that explosives belong in her father's workshop.
And his workshop only!
We simply must forfeit!
Francis No way! Not after having carried you around for half a day!
Pipsqueak I am cold and covered in mud!
Francis So what?! There's no harm in not looking your best *all* of the time.
Pipsqueak Coming from you, that is hardly comforting.
Francis What's that supposed to mean?!
Pipsqueak You never tidy up!
Francis So? Who cares?
Pipsqueak I care! We all care!
Do you not want to look presentable?
You are representing not only yourself, but your friends, too!
And that includes the guild!
Everyone thinks you a slob because you look like one.
Francis So what if they do? Not like I care.
Pipsqueak ...Oh, but I think you do, Francis. I think you do.
Francis ...Whatever, we're not forfeiting. We're almost through.

Quest 7: Only Forward[]

Quest Start[]

Catniss Did you see Pipsqueak?
Hah! She's sure to blow up.
I think we can count them out of the competition.
Minty Heart Really? What a shame...
Catniss You won't find me complaining. Easy win!
Minty Heart ... What are you doing this for, Catniss?
Catniss What do you mean?
To win, of course.
Minty Heart But that's not the point of all this!
Catniss It's... not?
Minty Heart It's to spend[sic] together with everyone!
What the kittens said is true...
We've all been so busy, we never just hang out anymore.
I miss our story nights by the fire, listening to all the crazy things people got up to.
Catniss Yeah, I hear you... those were the days...
QUICK! I see a way through the minefield, let's go!
Minty Heart ... I think you're missing my point!

Quest End[]

Conan Watch your step.
Purrcilla I have eyes of my own, you know.
Conan Right... Sorry.
Purrcilla Stop apologizing for everything!
Conan Sorry...
You just seem to be having a hard time lately.
Purrcilla Huh?
Conan I don't know...
You seem to be trying to reinvent yourself.
Which is admirable!
But I can imagine that includes some hardships, too.
Purrcilla I don't need nor do I want your pity!
Conan Purrcilla, wait up!
I'm not pitying you!

Quest 8: Right Behind[]

Quest Start[]

Rich Move it old man, we're lagging behind!
(And you're not proving yourself very useful!)
Benedict Well, if you were to stop relying on whatever you have in that head of yours...
Perhaps we'd be moving a little faster.
Rich What?!
Benedict You might think yourself clever, having something assessing your every move.
But are they really your moves anymore?
Rich ... I think you're growing senile, old man.
I have no clue what you're talking about.
Benedict Whatever you say, boy.
Rich ...
Benedict You're going the wrong way. The tracks lead this way.
Rich ... I was only scouting the area!

Quest End[]

Molotov Considering my girl's fierce craftsmanship...
It's a miracle we got off scot-free that round!
Great thinking, boss!
Kai You as well, friend.
... Though I must ask.
Why do you keep calling me "boss"?
Molotov Because you're like, the fixer of the camp.
Kai Hmm...?
Molotov Everyone always go to you with their troubles.
And you always know what to do, so you're kind of like a boss.
Kai Ah... You hold too much faith in me.
Those who fly too close to the sun shall inevitably be struck down.
Molotov ...Well put, boss!
Kai (He didn't quite get it, did he...?)
Molotov Where to next, boss?
Kai Uhm... This way, I believe.
Molotov Sounds good, boss!
Kai *sigh*
(What a kind and trusting soul.)

Quest 9: The Smarts[]

Quest Start[]

Kyle See? I told you it'd work.
But now it's time to go off-script.
So, what next?
Edward And you're turning to me because...?
It's not like you valued what I had to say earlier.
Kyle C'mon, dude, knock off the dramatics.
Time to make use of that big head of yours.
Edward We're in the middle of nowhere!
How am I supposed to work with this?!
Kyle Guess you just gotta play the hand your dealt, bud.
Edward It's easy to be a wisecracker when you're not the one dealing with the consequences!
Kyle You got this, easy.
Edward Why do you assume I'm the smartest in the room?!
Kyle Because you ARE, stupid!
Have some faith in yourself.
With the exception of Kai, none of these chumps stand a chance.
Now c'mon, you're not gonna impress any ladies by moping around.
Edward Wha–!
Kyle Hah! Now, don't throw away your shot.

Quest End[]

Purrcilla OW!
Conan That's the third tree you've walked into...
If you just let me help–
Purrcilla UUUGH! These illusions are driving me insane!
Purrcis Sorry, mother.
But this is the second trial – the perilous mirage of mirages!
... I wasn't responsible for thinking up the name.
Conan Let's just sit down for a moment, yeah?
Purrcilla ... Fine!
...
Conan ... So why won't you let me help you?
Purrcilla ...
I can do it myself.
Conan I'm sure you can.
But wouldn't it be easier to have someone help out now and again?
Purrcilla ...

Quest 10: Lost in the Woods[]

Quest Start[]

Purrcilla Some probably don't think I deserve it, after, well...
Everything.
Pah! Like I care.
I don't need their help, anyway.
They'll regret ever looking down on me!
Conan ...
Everyone deserves a second chance.
Or even a third one!
...
Even if you're on your fourth chance, you're with friends.
We all want to see you succeed.
Purrcilla Friends, huh?
...
This whole thing is stupid.
Conan Hehe, it is a little silly!
Do you just want to try and get to the finish line with everyone?
Purrcilla Yeah.
Conan Here, I'll help you up.
Purrcilla ... Thanks, Conan. You really are quite chivalrous, after all.
Conan It's what I strive to be!

Quest End[]

Kai I must admit it...
I'm a little lost.
Molotov Don't worry boss, I've got it covered!
Kai M-maybe you shouldn't light a fuse in the middle of the forest?
Molotov No need to sweat the small stuff.
Kai I really don't think–
Molotov Here goes nothing!
*BOOM*
Kai W-well, with that way blown to pieces and ruled out of the equation...
There's only two left...
Molotov I don't mean to hurry you, boss, but I think the others are closing in!
Kai (Which way is correct...? Everything looks the same!)
... Let's go this way!
Molotov Got it!
Kai ... Wait, watch out!

Quest 11: Inventive Plans[]

Quest Start[]

Catniss Hah!
These illusions are child's play for the eyes of an archer!
Minty Heart You're... going so fast... I can barely keep up!
Catniss Oh, sorry.
But hey...
There, at the top of that hill!
The kittens are all gathered, the treasure must be there!
Minty Heart You're right!
We did it, Catniss!
Wait...
Is that Kai and Molotov?
Catniss Huh?
Minty Heart Molotov's barely hanging on by a thread!
He'll fall any minute!
Catniss (But we're so close to victory...!)
...
Go warn them!
I'll fire an arrow with some rope, and we'll help them get up!
Minty Heart Sounds good!

Quest End[]

Kai I cannot thank you enough, friend.
Truly, it must be fate that you'd come to aid us.
Catniss Hehe, don't worry about it.
Minty Heart Will you two be alright?
Kai Yes, I believe so.
Catniss Then we'll move on ahead!
Minty Heart See you soon!
Kai Bye now.
...I'm so sorry, Molotov.
I'm afraid I'm unable to live up to your heroic version of me...
It simply isn't real. No matter how hard I wish it was...
Molotov What are you talking about, boss?
Kai ...What do you mean? I let you down.
Molotov Whaat? You could never!
All part of the plan, boss.
Kai Huh?
Molotov You see, we could never take the prize in the first place.
It'd be better to use it to boost someone else's morale, no?
And we all know Catniss is cutthroat...
This way, the win is guaranteed for somebody else.
Kai I see... How insightful of you, my friend.
So, what now?
Molotov Heh... We calmly walk our way to the finish line.

Quest 12: Growth[]

Quest Start[]

Catniss Aww, some of the others are already rushing up the hill...
Minty Heart Aw, shucks...
I'm really proud of you, though.
Catniss There's no need to be proud...
I was only doing what's right.
I'm sorry for how I behaved earlier.
You were totally right, I got way too caught up in the competition... again.
Minty Heart Hey, no need to apologize!
I'm not gonna lie...
I'm a little disappointed, too, hehe.
Catniss Hahah!
Minty Heart ...We should go on more quests together.
We'd make a fierce team.
Catniss Gladly!

Quest End[]

Francis There's the finish line!
Pipsqueak Finally, this nightmare can come to an end...
Francis Some of the others are already going for it!
Pipsqueak No... No they are not!
I refuse for all of this to have been for nothing!
CHAAARGE!
AAaah?
...
I have been trapped!
Quick, the mud is engulfing me!
My doom awaits me!
Ah, Molotov, there are so many things I wish to say...
Francis ...Your paw is just stuck in a bit of a sinkhole, calm down.
Still, I commend your boldness.
Pipsqueak ...A hero's bound to have some grime here and there, no?
Francis It's not so bad, is it? You can always just wash off.
Pipsqueak Fair enough...
Now, wash my paws off.
Francis What?
Pipsqueak You have magic, do you not? You are basically a walking showerhead!
Which does not particularly help your whole "grime" case.
Francis ...I guess you're right on some level.
I should probably make use of it a bit more often.
Pipsqueak Aha!
We will make a refined young man out of you yet!
Francis I encourage no such thing...

Quest 13: The Winners[]

Quest Start[]

Rich ...ARGH! Where are we?!
Benedit You tell me.
Rich Aren't you supposed to be a detective or something?!
Find a way out of here!
Benedict I believe you were the one who first led us astray.
...Or was it?
Rich (No, I can't just dump him here!)
...
How'd you figure it out?
Benedict The difference in your words and your actions astonish me.
Frankly, I'm disappointed nobody else has figured you out yet.
Rich Hmph.
Benedict But I assure you, whatever favor you think it's doing you, you're wrong.
It's easy to become blinded by your gift, I should know.
For every thing I've found, I seem to have lost another.
Sometimes you'd do best relying on yourself.
Rich ...
Benedict Oh, and maybe lose the attitude, "boy".
As young Kyle would say, "it's not a good look on you".
Rich ...Let's just try to get back.

Quest End[]

Edward The third trial's an obstacle course?!
I don't know if my glasses can handle another tumble...
Kyle Well, there's no other way than through!
Edward Brute forcing our way through is going to take forever.
But if we take a shortcut...
Follow me!
Kyle ...
Edward ...
Juliet Welcome to the top, boys!
Edward Juliet?
Kyle ED, WE DID IT!
Good job, bro!
Edward (Bro...?)
Y-you, too!
Kyle Told you we'd beat these chumps, heh!
Romeo Looks like everyone's gathering up.
Ash Showtiiime~!

Quest 14: Congratulations[]

Quest Start[]

Curio Surpriiise!
Purrcis We had to buy some time, but we finally finished.
Ash And to get some sweet, sweet revenge...
Catniss Wow, it's beautiful...!
Minty Heart Look at the view!
Frieda I did the banner!
Logan And I arranged the flowers.
Bob And we fixed the venue, hehe.
Conan "Happy 5th Anniversary"...
Cyrille ...and here's to many more!
Conan Cyrille!

Quest End[]

Conan What are you doing here?
Catniss We're so happy to see you!
Rich Ugh...
Benedict ...Watch the attitude.
Cyrille Like a spring breeze passing into summer...
...I simply happened to be in the area and thought I'd check in.
Once I heard such celebrations were to take place, why I simply had to stay.
Conan Well, we're happy to have you!
Kyle Ahem!
What about our prize?
Ash Oh, right!
Romeo Of course, we arranged the most important thing.
Juliet The prize! Here you go.
Edward ...What's this?

Quest 15: First Quest[]

Quest Start[]

Edward A scroll?
I feel like simply looking at it is gonna cause it to crumble...
Kyle Gimme that!
Edward Hey, be careful!
Conan Is that...
Give it here. That's an order!
Kyle What? No way, it's our prize!
Conan No, it's literally an order.
It's our very first quest.
Catniss Really? It's been ages!
Where'd you find it?
Juliet Oh, among Francis' archives.
Who ever nominated him as our bookkeeper back in the day..?
Francis You rummaged through my stuff?!
Romeo Meh, there was nothing of interest anyway.
Edward Anyway, what was the first quest about?
Conan Well, let me tell you an epic tale...
...of how we made love bloom in the world!
Catniss Oh, boy...

Quest End[]

Conan So, we got this quest from a Mr. Rainsworth.
Frieda Sounds fancy!
Purrcilla He really wasn't...
Conan We were to deliver a bouquet of his most cherished flowers to his lover across town.
They held his innermost feelings of love, you see.
Cyrille How tragic, to have his heartfelt words carried by another...
Conan He was old, and said he wasn't welcome around those parts.
This guy would chase him off each time he stepped up, and so that's where we came in.
So we had to be the messengers of love!
Kai (Did he...?)
Catniss The woman was married, Conan!
Conan S-still, he had to put his feelings out there!
Minty Heart Wha– how scandalous!
Edward That really wasn't as wholesome as I expected...
Kyle That's a pretty trash prize, not gonna lie.
Cyrille Hahah! And how far you've all come now.
You all should be proud.
Conan ...We really should be, shouldn't we?
Catniss Well, let's have a toast! To many more years to come!
Pipsqueak To all of our grimy heroes!
Rich ...To our brilliant minds.
Kai ...And to the family we've found in each other!
Conan Happy Anniversary!
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